Chapter 16
Daniel petitioned for expanded visitation after two years.
I expected it.
I dreaded it.
He had completed therapy.
Parenting classes.
Supervised visits without incident.
The reports were positive.
Mara prepared me gently.
“The court may allow unsupervised daytime visits.”
My chest tightened.
“No overnights.”
“Not yet.”
“Not ever.”
She looked at me.
“We’ll fight for gradual boundaries.”
At the hearing, Daniel looked different.
Less polished.
Less defended.
When asked what had changed, he did not give a speech.
He said, “I stopped asking how to get my rights back and started asking what my daughter needs to feel safe.”
I hated that it was a good answer.
The judge allowed three-hour unsupervised visits at a family center, then public outings if successful.
I cried in the bathroom afterward.
Not because I thought Lily was unsafe with Daniel now.
Because trust, once shattered, makes even reasonable things feel like betrayal.
The first outing was at a children’s museum.
I waited nearby with Claire.
Daniel sent photos through the app.
Lily painting.
Lily stacking blocks.
Lily wearing a firefighter helmet backward.
She came back happy.
That was good.
That hurt.
Motherhood is full of impossible emotions.
I wanted Lily to have love wherever love was safe.
I also wanted to hold her where no one could ever reach her again.
That night, Lily climbed into my lap.
“Daddy gave sticker.”
She stuck a star to my cheek.
I smiled.
“Beautiful.”
She touched my face.
“Mommy sad?”
“A little.”
“Why?”
I kissed her tiny hand.
“Because Mommy loves you very much.”
She nodded like that solved everything.
May you like
Then she hugged my neck.
For that moment, it did.
