Chapter 7: What She Never Told Me
I didn't sleep.
At 2:17 in the morning, I was still sitting at the kitchen table with my mother's messages open on my phone.
Evan came downstairs wearing sweatpants and an old college sweatshirt.
"You should come to bed," he said.
"I can't.""
He looked at my face.
"Did she say something else?""
I turned the phone toward him.
He read the messages.
His eyebrows pulled together.
"What happened twenty-nine years ago?""
"I don't know.""
"Could she be talking about something unrelated?""
"Maybe.""
"But you don't think so.""
I shook my head.
"No.""
Upstairs, Lily made a tiny sound through the baby monitor.
Both of us looked toward the stairs.
Evan reached for my hand.
"Whatever this is, it doesn't change what happened today.""
"I know.""
"Do you?""
I looked down.
He was right.
The mystery was tempting.
It gave my brain somewhere else to go.
Something else to solve.
But Lily had been humiliated by my mother that afternoon.
That was real.
I couldn't let a new mystery erase an old wound.
At 8:04, my phone rang.
Carol.
I answered.
"Hello.""
She exhaled.
"Thank God.""
I said nothing.
"I didn't sleep either.""
"Neither did I.""
"I want to explain.""
"Then explain.""
There was a long silence.
Finally she said, "I was wrong about Lily.""
"Yes.""
"I shouldn't have said those things.""
"No.""
"I was scared.""
I frowned.
"Scared of what?""
"You'll think I'm crazy.""
"I already think you're hiding something.""
Another silence.
Then she said, "Come to the house.""
"I'm not bringing Lily.""
"That's fine.""
"And Evan is coming.""
She hesitated.
"All right.""
We arrived an hour later.
The Christmas decorations were still everywhere.
But the house looked different now.
The tree lights blinked against the windows.
A half-eaten pie sat on the kitchen counter.
Three wine glasses remained on the table from the night before.
It looked like a party after everyone had gone home.
Carol was sitting in the living room.
She looked exhausted.
She had changed out of her Christmas sweater and was wearing a gray cardigan.
For once, there was no makeup hiding the lines around her eyes.
She pointed at the chair.
"Sit.""
Evan sat beside me.
Carol remained standing.
"I want to start by saying something I should have said yesterday.""
She looked at me.
"Lily is beautiful.""
I nodded.
"Thank you.""
"And healthy.""
My jaw tightened.
"Yes.""
"I know.""
She looked down at her hands.
"I know because I called her pediatrician.""
I stared at her.
"You did what?""
"Not recently. Before Christmas.""
"Why?""
"Because I was worried.""
"About Lily?""
"About what happened when she was born.""
Evan leaned forward.
"What exactly are you worried about?""
Carol didn't answer.
Instead, she walked to a cabinet and removed an old envelope.
She placed it on the coffee table.
The paper was yellowed.
There was handwriting on the front.
My name.
Not my married name.
My childhood name.
I felt a chill.
"Where did you get that?""
"It was your father's.""
"My father died.""
"I know.""
She sat down.
"He left this behind.""
I opened the envelope.
Inside was a photograph.
I stared at it.
It was a hospital room.
A woman sat in a bed.
She was young.
Maybe twenty.
Her face was pale.
Her hair was messy.
There was a newborn baby wrapped in a white blanket against her chest.
I didn't recognize the woman.
But I recognized the baby.
Not literally.
There was no way.
Yet something about the tiny face stopped me.
"Who is that?""
Carol's voice was barely audible.
"Your aunt.""
I looked up.
"What?""
"Your father's sister.""
"I don't have an aunt.""
"You did.""
"What happened to her?""
Carol's eyes filled with tears.
"She died.""
"When?""
"Twenty-nine years ago.""
I looked back at the photograph.
"Was that her baby?""
Carol nodded.
"What was the baby's name?""
She closed her eyes.
"Lily.""
The room seemed to tilt.
I put the photograph down.
"No.""
Carol whispered, "Yes.""
"That's not possible.""
"I know.""
"Then why are you telling me this?""
"Because I think you need to know.""
Evan reached for my hand.
My fingers were ice cold.
I looked at Carol.
"What does your sister-in-law's baby have to do with my daughter?""
"Nothing.""
She hesitated.
"At least, it shouldn't.""
My heartbeat accelerated.
"What does that mean?""
Carol stood and walked toward the window.
"When your father died, I found documents. Medical records. Adoption papers. Letters.""
"About Lily?""
"About the other Lily.""
I shook my head.
"This makes no sense.""
"I know.""
"Then make it make sense.""
She turned.
"Your father had a secret.""
"What secret?""
"He believed the baby wasn't dead.""
My mouth went dry.
"Your aunt's baby?""
Carol nodded.
"He believed someone had taken her.""
"Who?""
"I don't know.""
"You said there were records.""
"There were.""
"Where are they?""
Carol looked toward the hallway.
"I don't have them anymore.""
Evan stood.
"Who does?""
She didn't answer.
"Carol," he said firmly, "who has those records?""
My mother looked at me.
"Your brother.""
I froze.
"Mark?""
She nodded.
"Why would Mark have them?""
"Because your father gave them to him before he died.""
"Why?""
"I don't know.""
"You've known about this for eleven years?""
Her face crumpled.
"Yes.""
I stood.
"And you said nothing?""
"I was protecting you.""
"From what?""
She looked at me.
"From the truth.""
I laughed bitterly.
"You don't get to call secrets protection.""
She flinched.
I grabbed my coat.
Evan followed me.
At the door, Carol called after us.
"There's one more thing.""
I stopped.
She whispered, "Your father didn't believe the baby had died.""
I turned.
"Why?""
"Because someone had signed the death certificate before the baby was ever examined.""
My skin prickled.
"Who signed it?""
Carol looked at the floor.
"I did.""
We drove straight to Mark's house.
He opened the door in socks and a T-shirt.
When he saw me, his expression changed.
"You talked to Mom.""
"Where are Dad's records?""
He stared at me.
"What records?""
"Don't.""
Mark looked at Evan.
Then back at me.
"I don't know what you're talking about.""
"Mom told me.""
His face went pale.
"What exactly did she tell you?""
"Enough.""
He stepped outside and closed the door behind him.
"Keep your voice down.""
"Why?""
"Because Jenna's inside.""
"Good.""
He stared at me.
"You're angry.""
"Yes.""
"You have every right.""
"Where are the records?""
Mark rubbed both hands over his face.
"I destroyed them.""
I felt my stomach drop.
"What?""
"Some of them.""
"Why?""
"Because Dad made me promise.""
"Promise what?""
Mark looked toward his house.
May you like
Then he whispered:
"Never tell you that Lily survived.""
