Chapter 4: ## Chapter 4: The Name in My Father's Notebook
I read: The Name in My Father's Notebook
I read the sentence three times before the words made the sentence three times before the words made sense.
Daniel knows who really killed Elaine.
My mother had died sense.
Daniel knows who really killed Elaine.
My mother had died in a hospital bed fifteen years ago. Her death certificate said cardiac arrest following in a hospital bed fifteen years ago. Her death certificate said cardiac arrest following complications from pneumonia.
I had watched a doctor explain it to me in a quiet room with complications from pneumonia. I had watched a doctor explain it to me in a quiet room with beige walls and a box of tissues nobody touched.
There had been no police investigation. No suspicious circumstances beige walls and a box of tissues nobody touched.
There had been no police investigation. No suspicious circumstances. No reason to suspect anyone.
And yet, someone had photographed my husband outside my mother's house three days before she. No reason to suspect anyone.
And yet, someone had photographed my husband outside my mother's house three days before she died.
I looked up at Margaret.
"Tell me this is a mistake.""
Margaret sat down slowly, her cane died.
I looked up at Margaret.
"Tell me this is a mistake.""
Margaret sat down slowly, her cane resting against the arm of the chair.
"I can't.""
"Then tell me what resting against the arm of the chair.
"I can't.""
"Then tell me what this means.""
"I don't know everything your father discovered. Elliot never trusted anyone this means.""
"I don't know everything your father discovered. Elliot never trusted anyone with the complete picture. Not even me.""
I slapped the notebook against the table.
"That is with the complete picture. Not even me.""
I slapped the notebook against the table.
"That is not an answer.""
"No," Margaret agreed.
"It isn't.""
She reached for the photograph not an answer.""
"No," Margaret agreed.
"It isn't.""
She reached for the photograph and turned it toward me. Daniel stood outside a small brick house, his hands in the pockets of his expensive coat and turned it toward me. Daniel stood outside a small brick house, his hands in the pockets of his expensive coat.
His hair was shorter than when I had married him, but there was no mistaking. His hair was shorter than when I had married him, but there was no mistaking his face.
Behind him, my mother's curtains were drawn.
I remembered that week his face.
Behind him, my mother's curtains were drawn.
I remembered that week.
I'd been working double shifts at the dental office where I was a receptionist. My.
I'd been working double shifts at the dental office where I was a receptionist. My mother had called me twice, but both times I'd been too mother had called me twice, but both times I'd been too busy to answer. When I finally returned her calls, she said she was tired and didn't want visitors.
Three days later, an busy to answer. When I finally returned her calls, she said she was tired and didn't want visitors.
Three days later, an ambulance took her to the hospital.
I had never seen Daniel at her house.
He had told me he was ambulance took her to the hospital.
I had never seen Daniel at her house.
He had told me he was working late that week. I had believed him.
"Where did my father get this photograph working late that week. I had believed him.
"Where did my father get this photograph?"" I asked.
"An investigator gave it to him.""
"Who hired the investigator?""
"E?"" I asked.
"An investigator gave it to him.""
"Who hired the investigator?""
"Elliot did.""
"Why?""
Margaret folded her hands.
"He believed your mother was frightenedlliot did.""
"Why?""
Margaret folded her hands.
"He believed your mother was frightened of something. In the weeks before she died, she began asking questions about the of something. In the weeks before she died, she began asking questions about the family company, old bank accounts, and documents she had kept in a safe-deposit box.""
"What documents family company, old bank accounts, and documents she had kept in a safe-deposit box.""
"What documents?""
"I don't know.""
"Margaret, please.""
"I'm not?""
"I don't know.""
"Margaret, please.""
"I'm not withholding information to hurt you. I am telling you what I know withholding information to hurt you. I am telling you what I know.""
She sounded tired now. Not evasive. Tired.
I lowered myself.""
She sounded tired now. Not evasive. Tired.
I lowered myself into the chair.
"Did my mother ever tell you she was afraid of Daniel?""
"No. She didn't know him well enough to be afraid of into the chair.
"Did my mother ever tell you she was afraid of Daniel?""
"No. She didn't know him well enough to be afraid of him.""
"Then why would he visit her?""
"That's what your father wanted to find him.""
"Then why would he visit her?""
"That's what your father wanted to find out.""
I looked at the photograph again.
Daniel had been charming when we first met. He remembered birthdays, pulled out.""
I looked at the photograph again.
Daniel had been charming when we first met. He remembered birthdays, pulled out chairs, and called my mother "ma'am" even after she told him three out chairs, and called my mother "ma'am" even after she told him three times to stop. He made me feel chosen.
The first year times to stop. He made me feel chosen.
The first year of our marriage had been good.
The second had been expensive.
By the third, I of our marriage had been good.
The second had been expensive.
By the third, I was covering household bills while he explained that his investments were temporarily tied up. He had persuaded was covering household bills while he explained that his investments were temporarily tied up. He had persuaded me to open a joint account, then asked me not to look too closely at the statements because he me to open a joint account, then asked me not to look too closely at the statements because he was "reorganizing our finances.""
When he left in April 2023, he took his was "reorganizing our finances.""
When he left in April 2023, he took his laptop, his passport, and the money we'd been saving for Junie's education.
I had assumed that laptop, his passport, and the money we'd been saving for Junie's education.
I had assumed that was the worst thing he had done.
Now I wasn't sure I had ever known was the worst thing he had done.
Now I wasn't sure I had ever known the man I married.
"Where is the family office?"" I asked.
Margaret blinked.
"What?""
"The place the man I married.
"Where is the family office?"" I asked.
Margaret blinked.
"What?""
"The place the key opens. I want to see the cabinet.""
"It's in the old Hayes building downtown the key opens. I want to see the cabinet.""
"It's in the old Hayes building downtown. The company hasn't operated from there in years, but the archive room is still intact.""
". The company hasn't operated from there in years, but the archive room is still intact.""
"Can you take me?""
She hesitated.
"Not today.""
"Why?""
"Because I need to make aCan you take me?""
She hesitated.
"Not today.""
"Why?""
"Because I need to make a telephone call first.""
"To whom?""
"Someone who may know why Daniel telephone call first.""
"To whom?""
"Someone who may know why Daniel's name appears in Elliot's notes.""
I stood.
"If you call Lorraine's name appears in Elliot's notes.""
I stood.
"If you call Lorraine, I'll never forgive you.""
Margaret's face hardened.
"I have no intention of calling your aunt.""
"Good.""
"But, I'll never forgive you.""
Margaret's face hardened.
"I have no intention of calling your aunt.""
"Good.""
"But I do intend to contact my solicitor. If your father was investigating I do intend to contact my solicitor. If your father was investigating possible financial crimes, there may be documents that need to be preserved.""
I wanted possible financial crimes, there may be documents that need to be preserved.""
I wanted to argue, but the word preserved caught my attention.
"What kind of documents?""
"Bank to argue, but the word preserved caught my attention.
"What kind of documents?""
"Bank records. Property transfers. Perhaps medical records, if your records.
Property transfers. Perhaps medical records, if your father's suspicions about your mother's death were more than a frightened man's imagination.""
I gr father's suspicions about your mother's death were more than a frightened man's imagination.""
I gripped the back of the chair.
"Don't say that unless you mean it.""
"I mean that we should find out what happenedipped the back of the chair.
"Don't say that unless you mean it.""
"I mean that we should find out what happened before we decide what it means.""
She was right, and I hated her for it.
I took before we decide what it means.""
She was right, and I hated her for it.
I took the photograph and slipped it into my handbag.
"I'm keeping this.""
"Of course.""
"And the the photograph and slipped it into my handbag.
"I'm keeping this.""
"Of course.""
"And the notebook.""
Margaret placed it in front of me.
"Your father intended you to have it notebook.""
Margaret placed it in front of me.
"Your father intended you to have it.""
I turned toward the door, but her voice stopped me.
"Nessa, there's.""
I turned toward the door, but her voice stopped me.
"Nessa, there's one more thing.""
I closed my eyes briefly.
"Of course there is.""
"Your father came here one more thing.""
I closed my eyes briefly.
"Of course there is.""
"Your father came here two nights ago.""
I turned back.
"What?""
"He was looking for the key. He two nights ago.""
I turned back.
"What?""
"He was looking for the key. He said someone had taken an interest in him. Someone who knew about the letters.""
"Who said someone had taken an interest in him. Someone who knew about the letters.""
"Who?""
"He wouldn't tell me. He only said that if he disappeared again, I?""
"He wouldn't tell me. He only said that if he disappeared again, I should make sure the key reached you.""
I remembered the way the old man had kept one hand on his bag should make sure the key reached you.""
I remembered the way the old man had kept one hand on his bag all night.
"Why didn't you tell me this before?""
"Because I didn't know whether all night.
"Why didn't you tell me this before?""
"Because I didn't know whether you had received the letter yet. I didn't want to frighten you into doing something before you understood the you had received the letter yet. I didn't want to frighten you into doing something before you understood the situation.""
"Well, congratulations. I'm frightened now.""
Margaret reached across the table and squeezed my hand.
"I situation.""
"Well, congratulations. I'm frightened now.""
Margaret reached across the table and squeezed my hand.
"I know.""
I pulled away gently.
"I need to go home. Junie's with know.""
I pulled away gently.
"I need to go home. Junie's with my neighbor.""
"Take the main road," Margaret said.
"And if you see anyone following my neighbor.""
"Take the main road," Margaret said.
"And if you see anyone following you, don't drive directly home.""
I stared at her.
"You actually believe someone might you, don't drive directly home.""
I stared at her.
"You actually believe someone might be following me?""
"I believe your father had reason to worry.""
That was not the same as saying she be following me?""
"I believe your father had reason to worry.""
That was not the same as saying she believed him.
But it was close enough.
I left the house at ten-f believed him.
But it was close enough.
I left the house at ten-fifteen.
The sky had cleared after the storm, leaving the streets wetifteen.
The sky had cleared after the storm, leaving the streets wet and bright beneath the late-morning sun. I drove with the windows up, and bright beneath the late-morning sun. I drove with the windows up, checking the rearview mirror more often than I wanted to admit.
At the first traffic light, a black SUV stopped checking the rearview mirror more often than I wanted to admit.
At the first traffic light, a black SUV stopped behind me.
I glanced at it.
Dark windows. Silver grille. No visible driver.
When behind me.
I glanced at it.
Dark windows. Silver grille. No visible driver.
When the light turned green, I drove straight through the intersection.
The SUV followed.
At the next light, I turned left.
It the light turned green, I drove straight through the intersection.
The SUV followed.
At the next light, I turned left.
It turned left.
My pulse began to race.
I took a sudden right into a gas station, drove past the pumps, and parked turned left.
My pulse began to race.
I took a sudden right into a gas station, drove past the pumps, and parked beside the convenience store.
The SUV continued down the road.
I waited beside the convenience store.
The SUV continued down the road.
I waited until it disappeared before allowing myself to breathe.
"You're being ridiculous," I whispered.
until it disappeared before allowing myself to breathe.
"You're being ridiculous," I whispered.
My phone buzzed in the cup holder.
A message from an unknown number.
**YouMy phone buzzed in the cup holder.
A message from an unknown number.
*You should stop asking questions about your mother.*
I stared at it.
Another message arrived.
*Your father already should stop asking questions about your mother.*
I stared at it.
Another message arrived.
*Your father already paid for what he did. Don't make your daughter pay too.*
My fingers went numb around paid for what he did. Don't make your daughter pay too.**
My fingers went numb around the phone.
I called Margaret.
She answered on the second ring.
"Nessa?""
"Someone the phone.
I called Margaret.
She answered on the second ring.
"Nessa?""
"Someone just threatened me.""
"What did they say?""
I read her the messages.
just threatened me.""
"What did they say?""
I read her the messages.
She went quiet.
"Don't delete them," she said.
"Take screenshots. Send copiesShe went quiet.
"Don't delete them," she said.
"Take screenshots. Send copies to me, and don't respond.""
"Who is it?""
"I don't know.""
"Could it be Lorraine?""
to me, and don't respond.""
"Who is it?""
"I don't know.""
"Could it be Lorraine?""
"I don't know, Nessa.""
"Could it be Daniel?""
"I don't know.""
I slammed my palm against the steering wheel.
""I don't know, Nessa.""
"Could it be Daniel?""
"I don't know.""
I slammed my palm against the steering wheel.
"Everybody knows something except me!""
A man filling his car at the nextEverybody knows something except me!""
A man filling his car at the next pump glanced over.
I lowered my voice.
"I'm sorry.""
"You don't have to apologize," Margaret said.
"Listen pump glanced over.
I lowered my voice.
"I'm sorry.""
"You don't have to apologize," Margaret said.
"Listen carefully. Go somewhere public. If you believe you're being followed, contact carefully.
Go somewhere public. If you believe you're being followed, contact the police. And don't go to the archive room alone.""
"I thought you wanted me to wait.""
"I did the police. And don't go to the archive room alone.""
"I thought you wanted me to wait.""
"I did. I no longer think waiting is wise.""
I looked at the photograph in my handbag. I no longer think waiting is wise.""
I looked at the photograph in my handbag.
Daniel outside my mother's house.
Three days before she died.
"What if my father was wrong?"" I asked.
Daniel outside my mother's house.
Three days before she died.
"What if my father was wrong?"" I asked.
"Then we will discover that.""
"And what if he wasn't?""
Margaret's voice softened.
"Then we.
"Then we will discover that.""
"And what if he wasn't?""
Margaret's voice softened.
"Then we will discover that, too.""
I ended the call and started the car.
I did not drive home.
Instead, will discover that, too.""
I ended the call and started the car.
I did not drive home.
Instead, I went to the dental office where I worked, parked beneath the security camera, and called I went to the dental office where I worked, parked beneath the security camera, and called the only person I trusted to help me think clearly.
My best friend, Tessa.
She answered while the only person I trusted to help me think clearly.
My best friend, Tessa.
She answered while chewing something.
"If this is about the school fundraiser, I already bought the cupcakes.""
"It's chewing something.
"If this is about the school fundraiser, I already bought the cupcakes.""
"It's not about the fundraiser.""
"Is Junie okay?""
"Yes.""
"Are you okay?""
I looked not about the fundraiser.""
"Is Junie okay?""
"Yes.""
"Are you okay?""
I looked at the threatening messages.
"No.""
The chewing stopped.
"Where are you?""
"Work.""
"Stay at the threatening messages.
"No.""
The chewing stopped.
"Where are you?""
"Work.""
"Stay there. I'm coming.""
Twenty minutes later, Tessa walked into there. I'm coming.""
Twenty minutes later, Tessa walked into the reception area wearing jeans, a red blouse, and the expression she usually reserved for men who parked in disabled spaces.
She took one look at my face and the reception area wearing jeans, a red blouse, and the expression she usually reserved for men who parked in disabled spaces.
She took one look at my face and pulled me into the staff room.
"Start talking.""
I told her everything.
The man pulled me into the staff room.
"Start talking.""
I told her everything.
The man on the porch. The letter. Margaret.
The photographs. The notebook. Daniel's name.
I on the porch. The letter. Margaret.
The photographs. The notebook. Daniel's name.
I expected her to tell me I was overreacting.
Instead, she listened without expected her to tell me I was overreacting.
Instead, she listened without interrupting, then took my phone and read the messages.
"Okay," she said.
I blinked.
"Okay?""
"No, not okay as in this is fine. Okay as in we're going to stop you from spiraling, interrupting, then took my phone and read the messages.
"Okay," she said.
I blinked.
"Okay?""
"No, not okay as in this is fine. Okay as in we're going to stop you from spiraling, establish what we know, and figure out what to do next.""
She grabbed a pen and wrote three establish what we know, and figure out what to do next.""
She grabbed a pen and wrote three headings on a sheet of printer paper.
*FACTS. QUESTIONS. NEXT STEPS.*
I almost headings on a sheet of printer paper.
*FACTS. QUESTIONS. NEXT STEPS.*
I almost laughed.
"Are you turning my family nightmare into a staff meeting?""
"Yes. Staff laughed.
"Are you turning my family nightmare into a staff meeting?""
"Yes. Staff meetings are the only reason anything gets done around here.""
She pointed to the first heading.
"We know your father meetings are the only reason anything gets done around here.""
She pointed to the first heading.
"We know your father may be alive. We know someone photographed Daniel at your mother's house before she died. We know may be alive.
We know someone photographed Daniel at your mother's house before she died. We know someone is threatening you now.""
She pointed to the second.
"We don't someone is threatening you now.""
She pointed to the second.
"We don't know whether Daniel had anything to do with your mother's death. We don't know who sent the messages. And know whether Daniel had anything to do with your mother's death.
We don't know who sent the messages. And we don't know whether your father is in danger.""
She tapped the third heading.
"We preserve the evidence. we don't know whether your father is in danger.""
She tapped the third heading.
"We preserve the evidence. We keep Junie safe. We find We keep Junie safe.
We find your father. And we don't confront anybody until we know what we're dealing with.""
I stared at the paper.
It was so simple that I wanted your father. And we don't confront anybody until we know what we're dealing with.""
I stared at the paper.
It was so simple that I wanted to cry.
"How did you get so sensible?"" I asked.
"I had a mother who spent forty years telling me not to cry.
"How did you get so sensible?"" I asked.
"I had a mother who spent forty years telling me not to marry a man who called his car his second wife.""
"Did you to marry a man who called his car his second wife.""
"Did you listen?""
"Absolutely not. But I learned from the divorce.""
She squeezed my shoulder listen?""
"Absolutely not. But I learned from the divorce.""
She squeezed my shoulder.
"You're not doing this alone, Nessa.""
For the first time that morning, I believed someone.
Then.
"You're not doing this alone, Nessa.""
For the first time that morning, I believed someone.
Then my phone rang.
Aunt Lorraine.
I watched it vibrate across the table.
Tessa glanced my phone rang.
Aunt Lorraine.
I watched it vibrate across the table.
Tessa glanced at the screen.
"Are you going to answer?""
I hesitated, then pressed the green button and at the screen.
"Are you going to answer?""
I hesitated, then pressed the green button and put the call on speaker.
"Nessa, where are you?"" Lorraine demanded.
"At work.""
"I put the call on speaker.
"Nessa, where are you?"" Lorraine demanded.
"At work.""
"I've been trying to reach you all morning.""
"I spoke to you earlier.""
"Yes, and've been trying to reach you all morning.""
"I spoke to you earlier.""
"Yes, and you've been avoiding me ever since.""
"I've been busy.""
"Don't lie to me.""
T you've been avoiding me ever since.""
"I've been busy.""
"Don't lie to me.""
Tessa's eyebrows rose.
I kept my voice steady.
"What do you want, Lorraine?""
"Iessa's eyebrows rose.
I kept my voice steady.
"What do you want, Lorraine?""
"I need you to come to my house.""
"Why?""
"Because I've just received a very disturbing need you to come to my house.""
"Why?""
"Because I've just received a very disturbing telephone call.""
My stomach tightened.
"From whom?""
"Someone asking about your mother.""
I looked telephone call.""
My stomach tightened.
"From whom?""
"Someone asking about your mother.""
I looked at Tessa.
Lorraine continued.
"They said you've been digging into things at Tessa.
Lorraine continued.
"They said you've been digging into things that should have stayed buried.""
The room seemed to grow colder.
"What exactly did they say?""
that should have stayed buried.""
The room seemed to grow colder.
"What exactly did they say?""
"They asked whether you'd found the letters.""
I couldn't breathe.
"What letters?""
""They asked whether you'd found the letters.""
I couldn't breathe.
"What letters?""
"Don't play games with me, Nessa.""
Her voice cracked, but not with sadnessDon't play games with me, Nessa.""
Her voice cracked, but not with sadness.
With anger.
"Your mother made a terrible mistake years ago, and I'm not going to let you make.
With anger.
"Your mother made a terrible mistake years ago, and I'm not going to let you make it worse.""
I leaned closer to the phone.
"What mistake?""
Sil it worse.""
I leaned closer to the phone.
"What mistake?""
Silence.
Then Lorraine said something I would remember for the rest of my life.
"Your father should have stayedence.
Then Lorraine said something I would remember for the rest of my life.
"Your father should have stayed dead.""
The call ended.
Tessa stared at me.
I stared at the phone.
Outside, a delivery truck backed dead.""
The call ended.
Tessa stared at me.
I stared at the phone.
Outside, a delivery truck backed into the parking lot, its warning beeper repeating in the bright afternoon.
My aunt into the parking lot, its warning beeper repeating in the bright afternoon.
My aunt had never told me my father was dead.
My mother had told me he had left had never told me my father was dead.
My mother had told me he had left.
And now Lorraine had just admitted that she knew he was alive—or at least that she had.
And now Lorraine had just admitted that she knew he was alive—or at least that she had reason to believe he was.
I opened the notebook again.
The last page contained a handwritten address.
Not reason to believe he was.
I opened the notebook again.
The last page contained a handwritten address.
Not the family office.
Not Margaret's house.
A motel on the edge of town.
Beside it, in the family office.
Not Margaret's house.
A motel on the edge of town.
Beside it, in my father's careful handwriting, were four words.
If anything happens, find me.
And beneath that, a my father's careful handwriting, were four words.
If anything happens, find me.
And beneath that, a date.
Yesterday.
I looked at Tessa.
"We're going to that motel.""
She picked up her car date.
Yesterday.
I looked at Tessa.
"We're going to that motel.""
She picked up her car keys.
"Then we're going together.""
Neither of us noticed the man standing across the street keys.
"Then we're going together.""
Neither of us noticed the man standing across the street, watching the office entrance through the darkened window of a parked car.
He, watching the office entrance through the darkened window of a parked car.
He took out his phone and made a call.
"She's found the notebook," he said.
A pause.
Then took out his phone and made a call.
"She's found the notebook," he said.
A pause.
Then he added, "Yes. She knows about Daniel.""
He listened.
His jaw he added, "Yes. She knows about Daniel.""
He listened.
His jaw tightened.
"No. We can't wait any longer.""
He ended the call, started the engine, and tightened.
"No. We can't wait any longer.""
He ended the call, started the engine, and drove away.
By the time Tessa and I reached the motel, my father's room had been emptied drove away.
By the time Tessa and I reached the motel, my father's room had been emptied.
And the manager was waiting outside with a small cardboard box bearing my name.
May you like
.
And the manager was waiting outside with a small cardboard box bearing my name.
