Chapter 5: The Records She Thought No One Would Check
Dad read the first entryDad read the first entry three times.
Then he scrolled down.
N three times.
Then he scrolled down.
Nurse Patel stood beside him, explaining what each notationurse Patel stood beside him, explaining what each notation meant while the doctor continued monitoring my condition.
I couldn't see the tablet clearly from my bed.
But I could see my father's face.
He had gone quiet meant while the doctor continued monitoring my condition.
I couldn't see the tablet clearly from my bed.
But I could see my father's face.
He had gone quiet in a way that frightened me more than his anger.
“What does this mean?”” he asked.
Nurse Patel in a way that frightened me more than his anger.
“What does this mean?”” he asked.
Nurse Patel pointed to a line on the screen.
“On September 14, the school received confirmation that Jaden's emergency medication was pointed to a line on the screen.
“On September 14, the school received confirmation that Jaden's emergency medication was available at home and that his replacement prescription was being handled available at home and that his replacement prescription was being handled.””
Dad frowned.
“September 14? I picked up his prescription that week.””
Dad frowned.
“September 14? I picked up his prescription that week.””
“Yes. The pharmacy records may help establish exactly when.””
He.””
“Yes. The pharmacy records may help establish exactly when.””
He continued reading.
“And this entry?””
“That one is from October 3. The school documented a continued reading.
“And this entry?””
“That one is from October 3. The school documented a request to verify his medication supply after Jaden reported that his pouch wasn't request to verify his medication supply after Jaden reported that his pouch wasn't in his backpack.””
My father looked up.
“Someone contacted the school about that?””
“The record in his backpack.””
My father looked up.
“Someone contacted the school about that?””
“The record shows that a family member responded to the inquiry.””
“Which family member?””
Nurse Patel checked the screen.
“Melissa shows that a family member responded to the inquiry.””
“Which family member?””
Nurse Patel checked the screen.
“Melissa Carter.””
Dad stopped scrolling.
I watched his thumb hover over the tablet Carter.””
Dad stopped scrolling.
I watched his thumb hover over the tablet.
October 3.
I remembered that day.
I had arrived at school and discovered that my blue.
October 3.
I remembered that day.
I had arrived at school and discovered that my blue pouch wasn't in the front compartment of my backpack.
I'd checked twice.
Then I had checked again pouch wasn't in the front compartment of my backpack.
I'd checked twice.
Then I had checked again in the bathroom because I didn't want anyone to know I'd in the bathroom because I didn't want anyone to know I'd lost it.
When I finally told my teacher, she took me to the nurse's office.
Nurse Patel had asked whether I had left lost it.
When I finally told my teacher, she took me to the nurse's office.
Nurse Patel had asked whether I had left the medication at home.
I told her I wasn't sure.
She called the number listed in the medication at home.
I told her I wasn't sure.
She called the number listed in my school records.
Melissa answered.
I hadn't heard their conversation, but afterward, Nurse Patel told my school records.
Melissa answered.
I hadn't heard their conversation, but afterward, Nurse Patel told me everything was fine and that I should return to class.
I had assumed Melissa me everything was fine and that I should return to class.
I had assumed Melissa had found the pouch.
I had assumed there was nothing else to worry about.
Now Dad was staring at a record that had found the pouch.
I had assumed there was nothing else to worry about.
Now Dad was staring at a record that suggested the school had needed confirmation from her.
“Did she tell the school the medication was suggested the school had needed confirmation from her.
“Did she tell the school the medication was available?”” he asked.
“Yes,” Nurse Patel said.
“That's what the documentation indicates.””
Dad slowly put the tablet down.
available?”” he asked.
“Yes,” Nurse Patel said.
“That's what the documentation indicates.””
Dad slowly put the tablet down.
“Was the school told that the pouch had been removed from his backpack?””
“Was the school told that the pouch had been removed from his backpack?””
“No. There is no notation to that effect.””
He looked at me.
“No. There is no notation to that effect.””
He looked at me.
“Jaden, do you remember what happened to your medication that day?””
I thought“Jaden, do you remember what happened to your medication that day?””
I thought carefully.
“I asked Melissa about it when I got home.””
“What carefully.
“I asked Melissa about it when I got home.””
“What did she say?””
“She said she moved it somewhere safe.””
Dad's eyes narrowed.
“Did she give it back?””
“ did she say?””
“She said she moved it somewhere safe.””
Dad's eyes narrowed.
“Did she give it back?””
“Not that day.””
“What happened the next morning?””
“She put it in my bag.””
I could almost seeNot that day.””
“What happened the next morning?””
“She put it in my bag.””
I could almost see the memory as I spoke.
The pouch had been sitting on the kitchen counter.
Melissa had placed it beside my the memory as I spoke.
The pouch had been sitting on the kitchen counter.
Melissa had placed it beside my lunchbox without saying anything.
I had been so relieved that I hadn't asked where it had lunchbox without saying anything.
I had been so relieved that I hadn't asked where it had been.
Dad turned back to Nurse Patel.
“Can you tell whether the school ever verified that the medication was physically present?””
“The records show confirmation was received, been.
Dad turned back to Nurse Patel.
“Can you tell whether the school ever verified that the medication was physically present?””
“The records show confirmation was received, but I can't say from this screen alone whether anyone physically inspected it.””
“So someone told the school it but I can't say from this screen alone whether anyone physically inspected it.””
“So someone told the school it was available, and the school recorded that information.””
“Correct.””
Dad exhaled through his nose.
He wasn't accusing Nurse Patel.
He was trying to understand how an was available, and the school recorded that information.””
“Correct.””
Dad exhaled through his nose.
He wasn't accusing Nurse Patel.
He was trying to understand how an adult's reassurance could have ended the investigation while I continued believing that adult's reassurance could have ended the investigation while I continued believing that my missing medication was somehow my own fault.
“Is there a way to see whether the pharmacy was contacted about a replacement my missing medication was somehow my own fault.
“Is there a way to see whether the pharmacy was contacted about a replacement on that date?””
“I can ask the pharmacy to verify its records, but I can't on that date?””
“I can ask the pharmacy to verify its records, but I can't access every part of its system from the school portal access every part of its system from the school portal.””
“Please request whatever information you're authorized to obtain.””
“I will.””
Dad looked back at the screen.
“What about the other entry.””
“Please request whatever information you're authorized to obtain.””
“I will.””
Dad looked back at the screen.
“What about the other entry you mentioned?””
Nurse Patel scrolled farther down.
“This is from October 10 you mentioned?””
Nurse Patel scrolled farther down.
“This is from October 10. The school received a message asking that Jaden's medication information be updated. The message indicated that a dosage.
The school received a message asking that Jaden's medication information be updated. The message indicated that a dosage concern had been raised.””
My father's head lifted.
“Another dosage concern had been raised.””
My father's head lifted.
“Another dosage concern?””
“Yes.””
“Was the prescription incorrect?””
“The school record doesn't establish that. We'd need the dispensing pharmacy and prescribing concern?””
“Yes.””
“Was the prescription incorrect?””
“The school record doesn't establish that. We'd need the dispensing pharmacy and prescribing clinician to confirm the details.””
He pressed his lips together.
“Then let's confirm them clinician to confirm the details.””
He pressed his lips together.
“Then let's confirm them.””
Melissa's voice suddenly came from the doorway.
“I hope.””
Melissa's voice suddenly came from the doorway.
“I hope you're all enjoying yourselves.””
Dad turned.
She stood just outside the curtain, her purse clutched against her you're all enjoying yourselves.””
Dad turned.
She stood just outside the curtain, her purse clutched against her side.
She had apparently been listening.
Nurse Patel lowered the tablet.
“Mrs. Carter, we're reviewing the medication documentation to make sure Jaden's records side.
She had apparently been listening.
Nurse Patel lowered the tablet.
“Mrs. Carter, we're reviewing the medication documentation to make sure Jaden's records are accurate.””
“Of course you are.””
Her smile are accurate.””
“Of course you are.””
Her smile was thin and unconvincing.
“Because apparently nobody trusts me anymore.””
Dad didn't invite her closer.
“Did you contact the school on was thin and unconvincing.
“Because apparently nobody trusts me anymore.””
Dad didn't invite her closer.
“Did you contact the school on October 3 about Jaden's missing EpiPen?””
She blinked.
“I don't remember.””
“The record says you confirmed October 3 about Jaden's missing EpiPen?””
She blinked.
“I don't remember.””
“The record says you confirmed that his medication was available.””
“I probably did.””
“Where was it?””
She looked toward me.
“I don't know that his medication was available.””
“I probably did.””
“Where was it?””
She looked toward me.
“I don't know, Daniel. It was weeks ago.””
“You just told us this morning that you removed, Daniel. It was weeks ago.””
“You just told us this morning that you removed the pouch because you believed the dosage was wrong.””
“That's a completely different situation.””
“Is it?””
“Yes!””
the pouch because you believed the dosage was wrong.””
“That's a completely different situation.””
“Is it?””
“Yes!””
Her voice rose.
“Sometimes I put things away so heHer voice rose.
“Sometimes I put things away so he won't lose them. Sometimes I check his medication because I'm worried about mistakes. I'm not going to apologize for being careful won't lose them.
Sometimes I check his medication because I'm worried about mistakes. I'm not going to apologize for being careful.””
Dad's expression hardened.
“Then you should have no problem explaining the.””
Dad's expression hardened.
“Then you should have no problem explaining the records.””
She stared at him.
“You're treating me like a criminal.””
“I'm asking you where my records.””
She stared at him.
“You're treating me like a criminal.””
“I'm asking you where my son's medication went.””
“I don't know!””
“Did you return it to him on October 3?””
son's medication went.””
“I don't know!””
“Did you return it to him on October 3?””
She hesitated.
“I must have.””
“You must have?””
“What do you want me to say?””
She hesitated.
“I must have.””
“You must have?””
“What do you want me to say?””
“The truth.””
She looked at Nurse Patel.
“Can you please tell him that parents make mistakes? That not“The truth.””
She looked at Nurse Patel.
“Can you please tell him that parents make mistakes? That not every missing object means someone is deliberately trying to hurt a child?””
Nurse Patel kept her voice professional.
“Mrs. Carter, the immediate concern is ensuring that every missing object means someone is deliberately trying to hurt a child?””
Nurse Patel kept her voice professional.
“Mrs. Carter, the immediate concern is ensuring that Jaden has access to his prescribed emergency medication. The records also need to be accurate.””
Melissa turned toward Dad again.
“You're allowing a school employee to turn an Jaden has access to his prescribed emergency medication. The records also need to be accurate.””
Melissa turned toward Dad again.
“You're allowing a school employee to turn an ordinary family disagreement into something sinister.””
Dad shook his head.
“No one ordinary family disagreement into something sinister.””
Dad shook his head.
“No one has to turn anything into anything. We're reading what was documented.””
“Documentation has to turn anything into anything. We're reading what was documented.””
“Documentation isn't the same as reality!””
“Then help us understand the reality.””
She opened isn't the same as reality!””
“Then help us understand the reality.””
She opened her mouth.
Then closed it.
Her gaze shifted to the tablet.
I noticed something strange.
She wasn't looking at the entries about October 3 anymore.
She was looking farther her mouth.
Then closed it.
Her gaze shifted to the tablet.
I noticed something strange.
She wasn't looking at the entries about October 3 anymore.
She was looking farther down the screen, where Nurse Patel had stopped scrolling.
As though she knew down the screen, where Nurse Patel had stopped scrolling.
As though she knew what might be there.
Dad noticed her expression, too.
“What is what might be there.
Dad noticed her expression, too.
“What is it?””
“Nothing.””
“You looked at something.””
“I it?””
“Nothing.””
“You looked at something.””
“I didn't.””
“You were reading the screen.””
“Daniel, this is absurd.””
He took one didn't.””
“You were reading the screen.””
“Daniel, this is absurd.””
He took one step toward her.
“Is there another entry I need to know about?””
She shook her head too quickly.
“No.””
step toward her.
“Is there another entry I need to know about?””
She shook her head too quickly.
“No.””
Nurse Patel glanced down at the tablet.
“Actually, there is one more record we haven't discussed.””
Nurse Patel glanced down at the tablet.
“Actually, there is one more record we haven't discussed.””
Melissa's face went completely still.
Dad turned to the nurse.
“What does it say?””
She checkedMelissa's face went completely still.
Dad turned to the nurse.
“What does it say?””
She checked the date.
“October 17. The school requested an updated confirmation that Jaden's the date.
“October 17. The school requested an updated confirmation that Jaden's prescribed emergency medication was available. A response was submitted later that morning.””
Dad looked at Melissa.
“Was prescribed emergency medication was available. A response was submitted later that morning.””
Dad looked at Melissa.
“Was that you?””
She didn't answer.
Nurse Patel continued carefully.
“The record indicates that the medication had been checked and was ready that you?””
She didn't answer.
Nurse Patel continued carefully.
“The record indicates that the medication had been checked and was ready for school use.””
Dad's jaw tightened.
“And was it?””
“I can't determine that from this for school use.””
Dad's jaw tightened.
“And was it?””
“I can't determine that from this entry alone.””
He nodded once.
Then he looked at Melissa.
“Tell me what happened on October 17.””
She took a step backward.
entry alone.””
He nodded once.
Then he looked at Melissa.
“Tell me what happened on October 17.””
She took a step backward.
“I don't remember every single thing that happens in this house!””
“I don't remember every single thing that happens in this house!””
“Was Jaden's medication in his backpack?””
“I assume so.””
“Did you check?””
“Was Jaden's medication in his backpack?””
“I assume so.””
“Did you check?””
“I don't know!””
Dad's voice dropped.
“You've told us three times that you checked his medication because“I don't know!””
Dad's voice dropped.
“You've told us three times that you checked his medication because you were concerned about the dosage. You've told us you were careful. You've told us you were protecting him.””
He you were concerned about the dosage. You've told us you were careful. You've told us you were protecting him.””
He pointed toward the tablet.
“Now we're finding records showing that you repeatedly confirmed things pointed toward the tablet.
“Now we're finding records showing that you repeatedly confirmed things about his medication that you can't explain.””
Melissa's eyes filled with tears.
“I was trying to keep the peace.””
Dad about his medication that you can't explain.””
Melissa's eyes filled with tears.
“I was trying to keep the peace.””
Dad stared at her.
“What does that mean?””
“I was trying to keep everyone from pan stared at her.
“What does that mean?””
“I was trying to keep everyone from panicking over every little thing.””
“His emergency medication isn't a little thing.””
“I know that!””
“Then why keepicking over every little thing.””
“His emergency medication isn't a little thing.””
“I know that!””
“Then why keep telling people everything was fine?””
She shook her head, crying telling people everything was fine?””
She shook her head, crying now.
“Because I couldn't do anything right!””
For a moment, I almost felt sorry for her.
Then now.
“Because I couldn't do anything right!””
For a moment, I almost felt sorry for her.
Then I remembered lying on the school bathroom floor, trying to breathe.
I remembered asking for I remembered lying on the school bathroom floor, trying to breathe.
I remembered asking for my EpiPen and realizing it wasn't there.
And I remembered her telling me that morning that I needed my EpiPen and realizing it wasn't there.
And I remembered her telling me that morning that I needed to stop acting as though something terrible was always about to happen.
Dad looked toward my bed.
His expression softened when our eyes met.
Then to stop acting as though something terrible was always about to happen.
Dad looked toward my bed.
His expression softened when our eyes met.
Then he turned back to Melissa.
“You had a choice every time someone asked about his medication he turned back to Melissa.
“You had a choice every time someone asked about his medication. You could have told the truth.””
She wiped her cheeks.
“You don't understand. You could have told the truth.””
She wiped her cheeks.
“You don't understand what it's like to live with this much responsibility.””
“Then you should have told me you couldn't handle it. You what it's like to live with this much responsibility.””
“Then you should have told me you couldn't handle it. You should never have made decisions that put him at risk.””
Melissa looked away.
Nurse Patel quietly should never have made decisions that put him at risk.””
Melissa looked away.
Nurse Patel quietly explained that she would document the discrepancies and follow the school's established safety procedures.
Dad thanked her.
Then he asked the explained that she would document the discrepancies and follow the school's established safety procedures.
Dad thanked her.
Then he asked the hospital team to help us establish a reliable plan for my medication before I went home.
For the first time, the conversation wasn't about Melissa's hospital team to help us establish a reliable plan for my medication before I went home.
For the first time, the conversation wasn't about Melissa's feelings.
It was about what I needed.
And as she stood beside the curtain, watching my father make arrangements without consulting feelings.
It was about what I needed.
And as she stood beside the curtain, watching my father make arrangements without consulting her, I realized that something had changed.
She could no longer make the records her, I realized that something had changed.
She could no longer make the records disappear by insisting everyone had misunderstood.
But we still didn't know why she had been so determined to keep my disappear by insisting everyone had misunderstood.
But we still didn't know why she had been so determined to keep my medication out of reach.
That question followed us into the next hour.
And then Dad found something medication out of reach.
That question followed us into the next hour.
And then Dad found something on his phone that made him stop talking altogether.
It was a message from Melissa, on his phone that made him stop talking altogether.
It was a message from Melissa, sent several weeks earlier.
A message he'd never opened.
A message about me sent several weeks earlier.
May you like
A message he'd never opened.
A message about me.
