Chapter 7: The First Time I Had to Wait for My Wife
I had never been afraid of a hospital before.
I'd sat beside my father during his final weeks. I'd watched doctors rush through emergency rooms. I'd signed medical forms, paid bills, and listened to difficult diagnoses without losing my composure.
But standing outside the maternity ward on Christmas evening, I felt like a frightened child.
My wife was inside.
My son was coming.
And I wasn't even sure I was allowed to see them.
I reached the nurses' station at 5:36 p.m., breathless from running through the parking garage.
"Emma Collins," I said.
"I'm her husband.""
The nurse looked at her screen.
"Mr. Collins, please take a seat.""
"I need to know what's happening.""
"The medical team is attending to her.""
"Is she in danger?""
The nurse glanced toward the closed double doors.
"Her blood pressure has been difficult to control. The doctors are monitoring both mother and baby.""
I gripped the counter.
"Can I see her?""
"She has requested some privacy.""
I almost laughed.
Privacy.
My pregnant wife was preparing to deliver our child, and I was standing outside like a stranger.
Then I remembered that she'd asked for this.
She had every right to decide who entered that room.
A few minutes later, a doctor approached.
"Mr. Collins?""
"Yes.""
"I'm Dr. Patel. I've been overseeing your wife's care.""
"Is she okay?""
"She's stable at the moment, but we're concerned about her blood pressure. We've discussed the possibility of an emergency delivery if her condition deteriorates.""
I swallowed.
"Can I speak to her?""
"She's asked for a few minutes.""
I nodded.
The doctor studied me.
"Your wife has been under considerable stress. Right now, our priority is keeping her and the baby safe.""
"I understand.""
"Do you?""
I looked at him.
He continued calmly.
"She has told us that she doesn't want to feel pressured into making decisions about her personal life while she's receiving medical care.""
"I won't pressure her.""
"Good.""
He handed me a small piece of paper.
"She asked us to give you this.""
I unfolded it.
Emma's handwriting.
If you come, please don't make this about forgiveness. I need you to understand that I'm frightened. I need you to listen, even if what I say hurts.
I read it twice.
Then I sat down.
For nearly forty minutes, I didn't move.
I didn't call my mother.
I didn't call Thomas.
I didn't check my emails.
I simply waited.
At 6:21 p.m., the doors opened.
A nurse stepped into the corridor.
"Mr. Collins?""
I stood immediately.
"Yes?""
"Your wife would like to speak with you.""
I followed her into a small consultation room.
Emma was sitting in a hospital bed, wearing a pale blue gown. An IV was attached to her hand, and a blood pressure monitor wrapped around her arm.
Her hair was messy.
Her face was pale.
But when she saw me, she didn't smile.
"Hello, Daniel.""
I stood beside the door.
"Hi.""
She looked at the empty chair.
"You can sit.""
I sat down.
For several seconds, neither of us spoke.
Then I noticed her hands.
She was twisting the edge of the blanket.
"Are you in pain?"" I asked.
"A little.""
"Can I get you anything?""
"No.""
I nodded.
My eyes moved toward her stomach.
"How's our boy?""
"The doctors say he's doing okay.""
I exhaled.
"Thank God.""
Emma looked away.
I wanted to reach for her hand.
I didn't.
Finally, she spoke.
"Did you see the documents?""
"Yes.""
"All of them?""
"Yes.""
"Did you speak to your mother?""
"Yes.""
She closed her eyes.
"What did she say?""
"She said she was trying to protect me.""
Emma let out a quiet breath.
"Of course she did.""
"Emma, I had no idea they were doing this.""
She looked directly at me.
"That's what scares me.""
I frowned.
"What?""
"You had no idea. You trusted them with everything. You trusted Thomas.
You trusted your mother. You trusted Rachel. But when I told you something was wrong, you told me not to worry.""
I lowered my head.
"I know.""
"No, Daniel. I don't think you do.""
Her voice began trembling.
"When I found that guardianship agreement, I couldn't sleep. I kept imagining something happening during delivery. I kept thinking about our son going home with people who had spent months trying to make me disappear.""
I felt my throat tighten.
"That won't happen.""
"How do you know?""
"Because I won't let it.""
Emma looked at me.
"That's what you said about being there for me.""
I had no answer.
She turned toward the window.
"I didn't want to leave you. I wanted you to wake up.""
"I know.""
"No. You don't.""
She took a shaky breath.
"I remember the first time we heard his heartbeat. I remember sitting in that ultrasound room, holding my phone, waiting for you to call. I remember hearing the doctor say everything was fine and wishing you had been there to hear it yourself.""
My eyes filled.
"I should have been there.""
"Yes.""
"I should have come to every appointment.""
"Yes.""
"I should have listened.""
She looked at me.
"Yes, Daniel. You should have.""
I wiped my face.
"I'm sorry.""
Emma nodded.
"I believe you're sorry.""
For one brief moment, hope rose inside me.
Then she continued.
"But being sorry doesn't make me feel safe.""
The words hurt because they were true.
I leaned forward.
"What can I do?""
She stared at the blanket.
"Stop trying to fix everything in one conversation.""
I nodded.
"Okay.""
"Don't call your mother and demand that she apologize. Don't make Thomas sign something. Don't send Rachel a message telling her she's a terrible person.""
I almost smiled despite everything.
"I wasn't planning to.""
"Daniel.""
"I'm listening.""
She looked at me.
"Don't turn this into another project. Don't decide that if you hire the right lawyer, make the right phone calls, and solve the financial problem, our marriage will automatically be okay.""
I lowered my eyes.
"Understood.""
She looked toward the door.
"I need you to tell me something.""
"Anything.""
"Why did you go to Rachel's house that night?""
I hesitated.
"Because she was struggling.""
"That's not what I asked.""
I looked at her.
"Because I liked feeling needed.""
Emma's expression changed slightly.
I continued.
"With Rachel, I could walk into a room and immediately be useful. I could listen to her problems, offer advice, and feel like I was helping someone.""
"And with me?""
I swallowed.
"With you, I was afraid.""
"Of what?""
"Of failing. Of not having enough money. Of being a bad father. Of becoming my own father.""
Emma's eyes filled.
"So instead of telling me you were scared, you made me feel like I was asking too much.""
I nodded.
"Yes.""
She wiped a tear from her cheek.
"Daniel, I would have stood beside you through anything. You didn't have to be successful every day. You just had to be my husband.""
I looked down.
"I know that now.""
A contraction made her grip the blanket.
Her breathing changed.
I stood instinctively.
"Should I call someone?""
She nodded.
I pressed the call button.
A nurse came in and checked the monitor.
"All right, Emma. Let's get you comfortable.""
Emma closed her eyes.
The nurse adjusted the IV and checked her blood pressure.
"Your contractions are becoming more regular.""
I stepped back.
"Is the baby coming?""
"We're monitoring her closely," the nurse answered.
Then she turned toward Emma.
"Would you like your husband to stay?""
Emma looked at me.
I didn't move.
I didn't ask.
After a long moment, she whispered, "For now.""
The nurse nodded.
"All right.""
I sat beside the bed again.
For the next hour, I held a cup of water whenever Emma asked. I helped adjust her pillow. I listened when she described the pressure in her back.
I didn't look at my phone once.
At 8:14 p.m., her contractions intensified.
A doctor came in with another nurse.
"Emma, we're concerned about your blood pressure. We may need to move quickly.""
Emma gripped my hand.
For the first time that evening, she reached for me.
I held on.
"Daniel?""
"I'm here.""
"If something happens...""
"Nothing is going to happen.""
She gave me a frightened look.
I corrected myself.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what will happen. But I'm here, and the doctors are going to do everything they can.""
She squeezed my fingers.
"Please don't let anyone take him away from me.""
I leaned closer.
"I won't let anyone make decisions without you.""
The doctor looked at the monitor.
Then at Emma.
"We need to prepare for delivery.""
A nurse began moving equipment.
Emma's face went pale.
"Already?""
The doctor nodded.
"We believe this is the safest option.""
I felt my heart hammering.
"Can I stay?""
The doctor looked at Emma.
She nodded.
"Yes.""
A nurse handed me a disposable gown.
"Put this on, please.""
I struggled with the ties.
My hands wouldn't stop shaking.
Emma watched me.
Despite everything, she managed a tiny smile.
"You look ridiculous.""
I laughed through tears.
"Probably.""
Then she reached for my hand again.
"Daniel?""
"Yes?""
"Whatever happens tonight, don't forget that our son deserves better than what we've been doing.""
I bent my head.
"He does.""
The medical team began preparing her.
The room filled with quiet instructions, the sound of monitors, and the rustling of equipment.
Then the doctor looked at the monitor again.
His expression changed.
"Emma, I need you to stay calm.""
She gripped my hand.
"What?""
The doctor turned toward the nurse.
"Get the neonatal team in here. Now.""
My stomach dropped.
"What's wrong?""
The doctor didn't look away from the monitor.
"The baby's heart rate is dropping.""
Emma began crying.
I pressed my forehead against her hand.
"Stay with me," I whispered.
"Please.""
The doctor spoke firmly.
"We're moving to emergency delivery.""
And as the bed began rolling toward the operating room, I realized that I had spent months worrying about losing money, status, and control.
May you like
But the only thing that mattered was lying beside me.
And I had almost lost the chance to be there.
